Jenna rode the bus down. We were going to have many fried foods and play games and see a movie on Sunday.
Then Kevin, slicing French fries with a mandolin, injured hmself. Michelle wrote up an excellent post describing the day’s adventures. And we skipped the movie Sunday, too, since Kevin didn’t feel up to it. But Jenna finished reading my novel! Twice! And tried to steal the reading copy. So I suppose that’s a good sign.
I’m awake again. I’m pretty sure it’s not normal to sleep in 4-6 hour bursts, twice a day (or even three times). But I seem to be slipping in that direction. I had another dream about leaving work. The nightmares seem to be coming with less frequency now: the one where I’m failing everybody around me and the ones where I haven’t finished the separation process between myself and the old house, and/or myself and work. I think last night may have been triggered by Kevin’s injury, wherein I totally forgot my employment situation. The habit is still there.
Oh God, terrible thought just occurred. How is this different from dropping out of college? Perhaps I really am just a terrible quitter. Oh well, sorting that out is not my job; it’s my subconscious who does all the heavy lifting here.
House is a disaster area. I have a Draft post started long ago called ‘Meet My New Bosses’. It was supposed to be a clever post anthropomorphizing my goals for un/self-employment. However, I just now glanced at the title and realized how happy I am to be able to bumble along at my own speed for a while, without trying to live up to others expectations. I may not be accomplishing stuff, and I may not be happy with my own progress, but at the moment the only person I am disappointing is myself. And since I’m making tiny but steady daily progress I cannot be too harsh. I am kind enough to not expect a total 180 at high speed. Once the nightmares are gone and I no longer think I am on an extended vacation from Microsoft, I must make sure I am not drifting along at Grandpa speeds in the far right lane, but as I decelerate in one direction — er, yes. Perhaps this metaphor has gone on long enough.
Oh, bummer for your morning: the Flying Lab Software insurance situation change recently from the golden apple it once was to something I am assured is much more ‘normal’– and spendy. It’s mostly okay for me though we need to rework the budget, but kids suddenly have a bigger pricetag attached. Oh well. If Tiffany can make it work, I am sure we can. I wonder if I already posted all that? I can’t be bothered to go look. You’ll all forgive me. It’s part of this drifting along mid-spin thing. Well, and raging ADD untreated by anything but Zoloft and self-indulgence.
It’s so dark. I wonder if Daylight Savings Time changeover came and went and we never noticed. The web says next week. But I think all of our clocks are self-adjusting these days so I wonder if it COULD come and all we’d notice is a bit more morning darkness. Or is it light? I think it’s light, now, and darkness in spring. But whatever. I am not a farmer, and it is my earnest desire to someday find a school for kids that does not function on farmchild hours. If, you know, I have kids to send to school.
I saw a bit of Date Movie last night. I sat through all the fat-girl humor designed to make it clear how I could never get a man, but the poop and vomit jokes drove me away.
Michelle, 
kevin, 
Chrysoula, and 
Annabelle, and 
Angie, and 
cathy 7:38 pm on October 16, 2006 Permalink
Holy shit! At least you hadn’t yet put any dishes on the shelves. Alcohol can be replaced.