Research question

What do you do when you feel helpless and out of control? I don’t mean general coping mechanisms like cleaning or nagging your family or whatever– I mean, how do you deal with the situation where you feel helpless and out of control? I just realized all my characters respond to bad, uncontrollable situations like I do– by having a temper tantrum, feeling self-destructive, and then, eventually, vowing to gain a modicum of control over the situation, somehow.  I think it’d be good to spice things up some, but I need more ideas!

Published by


I used to be at, but flakiness is one of my primary traits, and the domain expired. Apparently it was popular enough to be snatched up!

3 thoughts on “Research question”

  1. Huh. It depends on the situation.

    Sometimes I hide or just stay in bed. Just try to avoid dealing until I feel like I can. Sometimes I want to break things or lash out at people (this is usually a good time to hide!).

    If I have to, I will just deal with the situation by doing something. Find something I can do that may help and just do it.

  2. If I feel helpless and out of control, I generally change the rules: remove myself from the situation to work on something where I can make progress (even if it’s just flicking by doing the dishes or laundry or baking a cake) and feel in control about something, and wait for an opportunity to revisit the first situation. Often whatever makes me feel helpless passes with a little time. If it doesn’t, well then, I’m helpless and nothing I can do will change things. It’s mostly about making the waiting bearable. If you watch Avatar, it’s the earthbender trait: you listen and wait for the right time to act.

  3. I breathe deeply, pour myself a glass of wine or coffee or even just water, and sit down to make lists. What the problems are, what good resolutions would look like, and what steps there are to get me there.

    Boring, I know. 🙂

Comments are closed.