I have been dreaming about really good meals.
January 30th, 2007
The kind where the waiters are paid very highly to make sure everything is perfect. Maybe I need to have some.
Categories: Updates From the Void | Tags: food | 1 Comment
Me and the Phantom Zone
January 30th, 2007
For three weeks, I’ve been either nauseas or starving or both. In addition, I’ve been sneezing like crazy, coughing and mildly congested. The cramps have mostly faded although I’ve noticed that when I sneeze and I’m standing it seems to make strange muscles convulse on either side of my pelvis. My diaphragm hurts from all the coughing.
These reasons are why I haven’t been writing much! Not much to say except ‘I feel miserable!’. And I don’t want to worry people so I haven’t been saying that.
I have extra-restless legs some nights, which make it hard to sleep, but otherwise, I do a lot of sleeping. Not quite as much as a few weeks ago, at the moment. At the moment it seems like some of the more life-ruining symptoms are slooowly tapering off. I think I’m somewhere between 7 and 9 weeks along. (Kevin keeps track of the details.) I have an appointment with a registered nurse on Friday.
I had my first pregnancy-related dream last night. Kevin and I were going to the French countryside for a two-week vacation but I was having trouble packing, and then I realized we hadn’t bought plane tickets either. Kevin was pretty calm about it all although he simply refused to help me pack (which is very unusual).
I think this pretty accurately sums up the current situation. There’s something kind of nice on the horizon, even though it features a language we don’t speak. We’ve both been in the vicinity before and rather liked it, anyhow. I have to stuff everything I need for this experience into a smallish package, it’s making me miserable and there’s not much Kevin can do to help. And we don’t even know if we’re going to make it there, so maybe all this misery has been pointless. Oh, and we managed to plan everything (at least vaguely) but the date of departure.
I like how my brain produces these dreams. One part of it says ‘this is an abstracted description of your situation’ and another part, the flaky part, goes searching until it comes up with a parallel situation. And I think it honestly creates a parallel situation because it’s a dork. Seriously. I’m the person who (as a child), when given a locket saying ‘CFT’ on it, decided it must stand for ‘Conley Fall Tzavelas’, my family’s last names. Rather than ‘Chrysoula Fidelia Tzavelas’, my name.
Anyhow, the best part is that I don’t usually see the metaphor until I describe the dream to somebody else, and notice what details are important enough for me to put into words.
Categories: Science Experiment | Tags: general-zod, pregnancy, Writing | No Comments
I just made butter
January 29th, 2007
from cream. On purpose, thank you very much.
Categories: Updates From the Void | Tags: food | No Comments
Dog Voodoo
January 15th, 2007
When Hannah was younger (and to some extent now) she would respond to our absence by hiding food and precious things (to her) in our bedroom. She seemed to believe that we’d left because the den wasn’t nice enough. And sure enough, if she acted this way, we’d come back. Magic!
Dante has always been deeply interested in clothing, especially pants, but also other garments. He is interested in them on and off the human form. He pays keen attention and notices changes to garments.
I think I’ve figured out why.
People who wear pants have the knowing of how to open doors. And acquire fresh cold water. And dogfood. But mostly, all the doors open for people who wear clothes. Magic! I’ve caught him dragging off clothes I was about to put on before detouring to the bathroom, all the way down to the front door. He’s always very interested in the dressing ritual, practically encouraging it when he’s locked in the bedroom with me.
Clothes, it seems, are Power.
In other Dante news, he loves snow. He really loves snow. It provides him with endless hours of amusement.
Categories: Pets | Tags: dante, hannah, Pets | No Comments
My ankle still hurts
January 9th, 2007
Although I walk just fine on it.
Writing is so hard right now. I’ve reached that terrible phase where I wonder if anything I write will be worth selling, and am convinced that because so much of it is slow plodding word after slow plodding word (rather than lightning visions) that it will be dull dull dull.
Categories: Updates From the Void | Tags: Me | 1 Comment
Me and the Phantom Zone
January 9th, 2007
I’m trying to be philosophical about the whole thing: not all seeds germinate, not all sprouts develop past the seedling phase. It’s nice to know the ground is fertile. It seems to be working as a good path between my bouts of maternal instincts and my bouts of frightened horror.
My personal experience with the Phantom Zone goes something like this:
Me: Hey down there, what are you guys doing? Building the Arc d’Triomphe? Holy shit, I don’t think it will fit! Ow! Ow! No, seriously, do you have to drill quite so hard? That strut is too big! Hey, I’m talking up here!
The Phantom Zone: More building materials, please!
Categories: Science Experiment | Tags: pregnancy | No Comments
Happy New Year
January 2nd, 2007
I fell down today and twisted my ankle! Ow! My dogs were not sympathetic and now I am sitting, foot up. No swelling but it hurt a stunning amount for a while. Less stunning now. Still very hard to walk.
This is the year of writing! I don’t think I can do a meaningful wordcount though, because I’m doing it in such stages…. writing a summary, dictating, cleaning up dictation, eventual rewriting. But goal-wise, I’d like to finish three books and may aim to finish four. Well, by ‘finish’, I mean ‘in rough draft form’. I’d like to do detailed world creation for two settings. And I’d like to submit the TFN trilogy by September or so.
Um. I have a lot of self-doubts. My reaction to hurting my ankle was to lounge around on a couch playing a video game, instead of soldiering on. I haven’t met any deadline I’ve set yet. I have a role model self inside but I’ve fallen down on pressuring myself to measure up to her. Hoping too much for external pressure, I suppose. And falling prey to too many distractions. I WANT to stay aware of the world, want to pursue external adventures, but I think especially without medication, I need to utterly lose myself. I will probably be able to post about myself when I feel like it and I think I should since I forget my past otherwise, but… wow, tuning out is hard.
I HAVE been very sleepy lately, and in my sleep, dreaming again. Yay!
Categories: Updates From the Void | Tags: Health, Me, Writing | 2 Comments
