I wanted to say ‘aimless’ but I certainly do have aims. I’m just not properly reaching for them yet.
Michelle says I should let myself have a vacation. Whether I should or not, I guess I have been. I’ve done a few household chores, done some necessary shopping. I finished Urban Shaman and played some video games and napped. I’ve spent a lot of time with the dogs. And I’ve worked a tiny bit on my novel.
I want to be cool, I want to say Look how moved in I am! and Look how much I’ve done. But there’s not much to show.
I want to be excited about writing. But I’m all twisted up about TFN and I don’t want to engage on something else until I’m making progress on that. I have a big list of ‘something elses’, too. Alexandrine Empire, Carouselchain Journals, Earth of the Preceptor, Earth of the Dreamer, Nobilis, an exploration of the fantasy setting exposition thing… and that’s just active ideas. Backgrounded ideas include old unfinished novels Engines of Heaven (Caleb & Indigo) and Xiphotologos. And fragmentary ideas: a mini-comic book, a manga idea…
Ideas easy. Teasing out starting thread of tangled ball of yarn hard. Wonder if this is a problem with Book 2s?
Not writer’s block, though. Not really. Just sleepiness, laziness, housework, distraction.
I wonder sometimes, Am I crazy? Am I for real? Can I do this?