Bits of the house are coming together nicely. In some ways, shockingly nicely. The library is shaping up to be these lovely brown cozy place. This makes me feel both a fey wondrous joy (can this beauty I’ve always admired actually be MINE?) and an odd twisting kind of fear. It took me a while to figure out the source of the fear. But I did it! Because I totally rock at this introspection thing.
The problem with having nice stuff is that you have nice stuff. And, like, you probably get upset if the cat scratches the bookshelf or the puppy chases the cat across the table. Heck, you might even get anal about making sure your stuff stays nice. So, I’m totally already paranoid that my gorgeous stuff might be made less gorgeous somehow. Yes, I got gorgeous stuff at Ikea. Shut up. But I’m also bothered because, well, it’s just stuff. Stuff that gets used gets worn and weathered. Stuff is where I keep the accoutrements of my life. I don’t want it to BECOME my life. But it’s all so pretty.