Type-in Sucks

So, first of all, I revised the setting a tiny bit after I started the type-in.

Second of all, I locked myself out of my computer all day on Sunday, by accident.

Third of all, writing the new scenes is a lot harder than I thought it would be, even with my outlines. At least, the first one was. It stalled me for 2 days. I’ve added about 2500 words just from that. I’m not sure if it has enough tension or contributes enough to the plot, but I wrote it for sharing more about the setting so… guess we’ll see.

Fourth, it’s all too easy to slip into simply rereading and editing on the fly. That is, not looking at my handnotes. I’m having to force myself to skip any text without ink next to it. This isn’t a final polish; it’s wart-removal and tightening and consistency. If I didn’t think it was worth writing ink on, I can’t allow myself to spend time thinking about rephrasings now. I have a deadline. It may be a personal deadline and I may have to extend it a couple of days but it’s a deadline. Gotta stick to it.

Fifth, my notes are incomprehensible. I can usually puzzle out my handwriting, but sometimes I’ll come across three different revisions for the same line scribbled in the margin, or a random expository note with no indicators or hints as to where I wanted it to go (and it doesn’t really seem appropriate anywhere).

Sixth, I’m going through a massively insecure phase right now, because of the clusterfuck my interview turned into– oh yes, it got bad. I didn’t go into detail at first because, you know, burning bridges is bad and all– but on Friday an epilogue to the whole mess occurred that made it clear there weren’t many bridges left to burn. I was officially categorized not as not just ‘not as much what we wanted as this other guy’ but ‘totally worthless to us’.

Now, I know rationally it was politics of a sort at work. That I was a shoo-in for the role, if not as first choice then as second choice. But politics and social confusion reigned, the person who made the final decision had no interest in my qualifications, and I got pushed aside. However… I don’t really run on what’s rational. So… I feel pretty bad. I’m wondering if my estimates of my own competence are way off base. I thought I was in a good position for that job, right? Just like I think I’ve got what it takes to be a pretty good writer.

Anyhow, such crazy irrational fears are also slowing down the type-in.

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Chrysoula

I used to be at attractmode.net, but flakiness is one of my primary traits, and the domain expired. Apparently it was popular enough to be snatched up!

2 thoughts on “Type-in Sucks”

  1. For what it’s worth, I think you’re a fantastic writer and I’m so impressed that you have the organization, focus, and stamina necessary to write a novel. I’m really looking forward to reading it.

  2. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that; fie on them. *hug* I have been indescribably lame wrt phonecalling this week (where does the time go?), but will try for next week!

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