In between class sessions I’ve been reading the Christmas run of the Crapometer at Miss Snark. The Crapometer is Miss Snark taking a look at reader-submitted queries (first pages, cover letters, synopses) and publically critiquing them. Yes, people volunteer for this. It’s educational.

But what I’m observing right now is that my God authors suck at titles. I always wondered when agents and editors told me that most novels were retitled. Here are some of them:

Thriller called: Fat Chance (because the protagonist used to be overweight, I guess)

A chick lit novel called: Things to Do (because the protagonist makes lots of lists)

A romantic fantasy called: Only Real Dogs Need Apply (and it’s a reference to ugly women, not dogs)

A YA fantasy (imagine the Little Mermaid, but with rockstars and ducks) called: Birdsong

Another YA fantasy about a girl who makes a wish to be pretty called: Mirror, Mirror

Something called: Bag Lady Barbie and Cross-Dressing Ken’s Journey Home

A humorous mystery called: Free Shot

Oh, and here are some fantasy titles: The First Crusade. The Wings of Winter.

Update: In the style of Chuck Palahniuk: When Lefties Kill

Published by


I used to be at attractmode.net, but flakiness is one of my primary traits, and the domain expired. Apparently it was popular enough to be snatched up!

One thought on “Titles”

  1. Yeah. Ask any copy editor or managing editor how much fun it is to create a title for a newspaper article. I know it isn’t a book title, but you wouldn’t believe some of the ways reporters title their works.

Comments are closed.